u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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