I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
