If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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