So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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