my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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