Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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