Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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