I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
