do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
