you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
