Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
