i jhust puked up my retainher.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
