therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
