Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
