Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(239): View more from Florida

so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...

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(480): View more from Arizona

he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.

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(714): View more from California

My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.

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(702): View more from Nevada

we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.

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(214): View more from Texas

He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."

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(760): View more from California

Why the fuck are you playing with legos?

(254): View more from Texas

Why the fuck are you questioning me?

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