I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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