"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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