i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
