went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
