he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
