I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
