No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
