Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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