I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I would fuck him just for his dog
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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