every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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