I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
