Kiss
Puke
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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