This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
