I just made out with a guy for $7.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
