im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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