I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm both gender and math confused
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
