and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
