Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
