Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
