Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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