yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
