unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
