But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
