oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm like, not good at living.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
