Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
