I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have fence marks all over my body
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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