I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
