Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
