We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
