you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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