Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
