Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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