the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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