i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
