we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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