just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
