i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
