Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
