shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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