we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
