My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Thank you for not boning my boss.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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