People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
