Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
