i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
